Non-Negotiables—Do They Come With Age and Experience?

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Quick Recap of What’s Inside:

🚧 Why Boundaries Matter

📝 Breaking Down Non-Negotiables

⚠️ Friendships: What I Won’t Tolerate

⚖️ The Challenge of Work vs. Relationships

🚧 Why Boundaries Matter

When I think about how I’ve built my list of non-negotiables, I realize they’re rooted in perspective—and perspective, for better or worse, comes with time and experience. So, I want to extend grace to “little me,” and to anyone just beginning to form their own boundaries. It’s easy to judge yourself for past choices, but hindsight is 20/20, and clarity takes time.

Building a list of non-negotiables is an ongoing process, and my hope is that we all apply them across every aspect of life—relationships, friendships, and work. Looking back, younger me often assumed I had to take whatever was handed to me. I believed boundaries were luxuries I couldn’t afford when I was still building something. After all, boundaries by definition are limits:

When you’re hustling to build a career, a brand, or a dream, the idea of “limits” can feel counterproductive. It’s easy to think: I’ll set boundaries later. But here’s the thing—I’ve learned that some boundaries need to exist from the start.

Your non-negotiables shape your character, and without standing for something, you risk falling for everything. Setting those limits early doesn’t mean closing yourself off or stalling progress—it means defining who you are and what matters to you, even as you’re in the thick of building.

So, have empathy for your younger self as you start crafting your list of non-negotiables. Recognize that it’s okay if the list evolves over time. Mine certainly has. 

📝 Breaking Down Non-Negotiables

Whether in relationships or at work, I’ve realized my non-negotiables often stem from recognizing what doesn’t work for me—patterns or dynamics that leave me feeling depleted, frustrated, or misaligned. These are the boundaries I’ve learned to set for myself to protect my peace and maintain balance.

⚠️ Friendships: What I Won’t Tolerate

Here’s a snapshot of the things I now refuse to tolerate:

• Uneven Effort: Feeling like I’m consistently putting in more energy than I’m receiving. Relationships thrive on mutual investment, and one-sided dynamics just don’t work.

• Gaslighting: Being made to feel like my perception or feelings are invalid or irrational is an immediate red flag.

• Emotional Drain: Leaving interactions feeling drained instead of energized. Relationships should fill you up, not suck the life out of you.

• Negative Talk: If I find myself talking negatively about someone after spending time with them, it’s a clear sign that something isn’t right.

Once I have a few clear points, it’s easy to compare my future interactions with this list to see if they pass the vibe check.

⚖️ The Challenge of Work vs. Relationships

When it comes to relationships and friendships, I’ve found it relatively easy to set boundaries—or even cut ties if needed. But when it comes to work, it’s a whole different story.

Whether you’re an employee or an employer, work relationships often feel like they hold more weight because they tie directly to your survival. This dependency can make setting boundaries or cutting off toxic dynamics feel a lot less black-and-white.

It’s harder to walk away when your paycheck, career growth, or the success of your business is on the line. I do believe there’s a time and place to take it on the chin, to make short-term sacrifices with the hope that they’ll pay off later. But here’s the catch: if you don’t see that light at the end of the tunnel, it’s time to reevaluate.

You’ll have to weigh your happiness against what you’re chasing. And honestly, I’m not sure I can argue that giving up your one precious life for a title, a raise, or any other external validation is worth it. At some point, it’s about more than the grind—it’s about what kind of life you’re building and whether it’s truly fulfilling.

It’s a personal call, but the more I reflect on my own non-negotiables, the more I realize how important it is to see the bigger picture. Sometimes that means walking away, and sometimes it means holding on—but only if you know it’s leading somewhere that aligns with who you are and what you want.

What are your non-negotiables? Take the time to reflect, and remember—your boundaries aren’t just limits; they’re the foundation of the life you’re building.

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